Eve Teasing Evils

Eve teasing is not as old as Eve (because there was no other man around at that time except her beloved Adam), but it has certainly existed down the centuries. Most civilized societies have taken cognizance of it and have tried to curtail it in different ways. Unfortunately the focus is more on the ways and means of taking action against it, punishing the offenders or informing girls as to how to defend themselves. Very little attention has been given to going into the root cause of eve teasing and what can be done to bring about a transformation in society so that the practice and incidents are prevented.

It is absolutely clear that the victim is in no way responsible for the incidence of eve teasing. It does not depend on how the girl looks, what she wears, or where she goes. In fact, it is often the quieter, more subdued and simpler girls who get attacked because the culprit is more confident of handling and cowing down such girls rather than the assertive and mod ones, who may retaliate strongly.

So, it is obvious that the change has to be brought in the thinking pattern of the men and boys who succumb to the temptation of indulging in such behavior. If the thinking pattern is changed, incidences will reduce by themselves.

This problem starts with the way boys are indoctrinated to develop an attitude towards girls. At a very early age, they are taught things like ‘Don’t cry like a girl’, or ‘You should not go near girls.’ To the young adolescent mind, a girl is an object of weakness and vulnerability and at the same time, due to his hormones playing up, an object of fascination that is forbidden to him.

Not allowing boys to get a greater understanding of the female gender, lack of sex education and harsh punishments for harmless pranks develop in many adolescent boys a feeling of suppressed anger and resentment towards girls. Compounded to that is the mistaken version that every boy has to be a ‘macho’ man and a girl is a conquest to prove his manhood. When such boys do not get attention from girls, they develop the tendency to tease them; initially from a distance, and then as they grow bolder, getting closer and closer to them.

If this was only an adolescent passing phase, it would not be a serious societal concern. As we are well aware, eve teasing is indulged in by men who are well past their adolescence, sometimes even by doddering old men. Hence we need to understand that the ‘programming’ of the mind that takes place in early years, continues to affect behavior for a lifetime.

Here are some practical tips to influence the mindset of potential eve teasers by giving the right inputs to growing young men and bringing about an attitudinal change in them:

Media should stop glorifying ‘macho’ men who make a public display of affection towards unwilling girls.
Boys and girls in families should be treated equally and boys should be taught that their sisters have the same rights as they do.
Girls should be allowed to participate in outdoor games more freely, thus dispelling the myth that they are the ‘weaker sex.’
School curriculum should include gender related studies that highlight the achievements of women and their capabilities.
Sex education should include understanding the emotions, needs and behavior of the opposite gender.
The concept of ‘boys will be boys’ should be curbed right at the beginning. Small pranks against girls (or even in general) that are tolerated since they appear to be harmless lay the seeds for much more unacceptable behavior in later years.
Bystanders should not remain mute witnesses whenever any incident of eve-teasing takes place, because such inactivity not only encourages the abuser but also gives wrong signals to prospective abusers.
‘Gentlemanly’ behavior should be encouraged and rewarded, particularly among adolescent boys and they should be projected as role models.
Family bonds should be strengthened since adolescent boys have a tendency to move away from the ladies in their house and interact only with their peers, thus being deprived of female interactions and the opportunity to learn to treat women with due respect.
Consumption of liquor at an early age should be strongly frowned upon. Unfortunately the pub culture has made intoxication fashionable and drunkenness leads to many incidents of misbehavior with women.
Men misbehaving with their own wives are unfortunately ignored by outsiders as it is considered to be their ‘internal’ matter. Men who get into the habit of dominating and being aggressive with their wives feel that they can misbehave with other women too.

Simultaneously, girls should be taught at an early age that they are in no way inferior to boys. While girls of today are getting as good an education as their brothers, they are not being taught life-skills and often end up with low self-esteem that prevents them from even protesting or defending themselves and eve teasers have a free hand.